Thursday, December 4, 2008

MLT Seminars part one

As part of Mr. Leather Toronto Weekend, I attended two of the educational seminars presented by the organization, both of which were held in the Mackenzie Room of the Primrose Hotel on Saturday, November 27, 2008.

The first workshop was entitled Scrotal Infusions (Saline) and was conducted by Marc Paquet-Decker and his boy connor. I love how in gay life the word 'boy' can describe someone in his sixth decade. The seminar was attended by 17 men and 6 women.

Marc was funny and charming as he demonstrated filling connor's testes sack with a half litre of .9% saline solution. The saline bag is hung on a film tripod (cheaper than medical equipment and does the same thing) and connected to connor's balls through an IV drip tube and a butterfly needle inserted precisely into his sack tissue. "Do not inject into the testicle," said Marc. "If you even so much as graze his testicles, it would take three hours to scrape him off the ceiling."

Prior to that, connor's balls were pre-shaved and tied off with a cock ring. His cock was already adorned with a Prince Albert and a Jacob's ladder, very busy down there. He sat relaxed, arms folded, his ball sack gradually swelling to the size, colour and texture of a big pink grapefruit.

Marc cautions against using more than 2 litres as it may cause everything to stretch and even detach. "Then you'll have turkey neck between your legs for the rest of your life." He said that often the foreskin would also fill with solution and swell up, which makes it difficult to urinate. "Lots of pressure on the pisshole," he said. "You won't be able to pee unless you sit, but you don't pee in a stream, you more or less turn on a sprinkler. I sprayed myself like you wouldn't believe, like a squirt of Fantastic or a cute little fountain. I could have been in the middle of an Italian garden."

I had questions. How did all this start? Who came up with this idea? Another attendee mumbled a response, something about doctors in the fifties inflating the sack and shining a light behind it in order to find tumors or something. There was also some talk about how the rise in home care over the past two decades may have also contributed to the practice. I also asked how can you get that salt water back out of the sack. Marc said that since saline is naturally present in the body, it will merely absorb over time, usually about 24 hours, but if it doesn't and you end up with a case of severe scrotal cellulitis, go to emergency. Then a woman asked if she could inject her labia. 

Much discussion of how to dispose of needles took place, and also never to do it if you take blood thinners. Finally, Marc discussed sealing the puncture. "There are several things you could use. Polyfilla is not one of them," he said. "Polygrip, however, is the best, and get the extra strength. It's cheaper than liquid band aid and burns less than crazy glue."

Once it is full, you can have hours of fun playing with it, but apparently, it's pretty difficult to fuck or cum with a swollen sack.

•end of part one•