If a boring, overlong interview with a blonde twink is your idea of Heaven, then you'll love the bonus features on 18 West Studios' new Skyler's Sex Adventures. The movie consists mostly of scenes of Skyler jerking off. He also has sex with Chase Himmel and Brooke Daniels, both of who will grow up to be sexy men one day.
I hate Skyler DeVoss. His gay voice is an erection killer, and watching him frou frou up his ridiculous hair made me violent. Aren't those fucking faux hawks over already? Maybe it's just me, but I want my gay porn stars - twinks included - to act like men, not petulant girls. Horrible stuff.
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
Screwed
Despite its coarse title, Jet Set's Screwed strives for seriousness. It opens with B&W footage and piano music, a sure sign of artsy ambitiousness. The story concerns a bunch of hot guys in prison. When I interviewed director Chris Steele last summer, we talked about how a lot of gay porn models end up in jail for one reason or another. Perhaps this is meant as a homage.
There are major acting scenes, and Steele gets credible performances out of his models. Screenwriter John Tegan has fun with the concept as well, as when an anal cavity search turns into a hot fingering. (The puns continue. One guy is in jail for cockfighting.) The main plot concerns a corrupt guard who sells drugs to the inmates. Expect comeuppance.
It's hard to say who's hotter - the guards, or the prisoners. Regardless, this is a terrific prison fantasy, way less gloomy and feel-bad than Oz. Although Screwed isn't likely to lead to prison reform, it does confirm what I've always expected - that incarceration is inherently homoerotic.
There are major acting scenes, and Steele gets credible performances out of his models. Screenwriter John Tegan has fun with the concept as well, as when an anal cavity search turns into a hot fingering. (The puns continue. One guy is in jail for cockfighting.) The main plot concerns a corrupt guard who sells drugs to the inmates. Expect comeuppance.
It's hard to say who's hotter - the guards, or the prisoners. Regardless, this is a terrific prison fantasy, way less gloomy and feel-bad than Oz. Although Screwed isn't likely to lead to prison reform, it does confirm what I've always expected - that incarceration is inherently homoerotic.
Finding Me
Finding Me, a new DVD from TLA Releasing, is about gay black men who are so not ghetto. Since I'm accustomed to seeing black guys shoot each other on The Wire, I can barely make sense of these nice black men with no guns. It's almost science fiction.
At first the romance is sweet, but chaste, and when it finally happens, you realize that there's really no story, except for a B plot concerning the old-fashioned father. Most of the comedy comes from the sassy black chick, one of those junior Wanda Sykes types. But the protagonist is such a drip I can't imagine what the hunk sees in him.
The film's director, Roger S. Omeus Jr., says in an interview that he was inspired by E. Lynn Harris. Now it all makes sense. Probably the most interesting thing about this movie is that it introduced me to the term "same gender loving", which some of these people feel is less prejudicial than the word "gay". Again with the science fiction. All the same, the movie's got such a good spirit that it's easy to overlook the clumsy compositions and atrocious audio and bland performances and overlong running time. That title doesn't do it any favours, either.
At first the romance is sweet, but chaste, and when it finally happens, you realize that there's really no story, except for a B plot concerning the old-fashioned father. Most of the comedy comes from the sassy black chick, one of those junior Wanda Sykes types. But the protagonist is such a drip I can't imagine what the hunk sees in him.
The film's director, Roger S. Omeus Jr., says in an interview that he was inspired by E. Lynn Harris. Now it all makes sense. Probably the most interesting thing about this movie is that it introduced me to the term "same gender loving", which some of these people feel is less prejudicial than the word "gay". Again with the science fiction. All the same, the movie's got such a good spirit that it's easy to overlook the clumsy compositions and atrocious audio and bland performances and overlong running time. That title doesn't do it any favours, either.
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
The Howard Stern Show
Gay activists often comb the airwaves looking for fair and accurate representations of gay people, but I never hear any of them talk about The Howard Stern Show. Available only on satellite radio, the show presents a rather complete picture of how different races and orientations can get along - by ribbing each other.
It is not to everyone's tastes, and those easily offended - the umbrage community - would just carp. But those of us who enjoy a good laugh and who can take a teasing must be pleasantly surprised. Stern, a genius when it comes to open discussion, staffs his show with such diverse personalities as Robin Quivers (female, heterosexual, black, educated, upwardly mobile), renowned stand-up comedian Artie Lange (male, heterosexual, fat, New Jerseyish, filled with heterosexist prejudices), and former Star Trek star George Takai (male, homosexual, Asian, sophisticated, considerably older). No one is spared. At a recent evening out, Quivers, a bit of a wine snob, ordered an $800 bottle of wine. The others have never let her forget it.
The particular chemistry of these people as led by Stern (male, heterosexual, Jewish, neurotic) makes for marvelous radio. Along with other staffers and various guests, everyone is mocked. And because it's satellite radio, and therefore a subscription service with no censorship, the language and topics of discussion have no boundaries. Takai, who has talked at length about his relationship, spent a lot of time answering Stern's questions about giving head, and even admits to swallowing the occasional load. Why is this not news? Is it possible no gay or lesbian persons listen to satellite radio? (Stern claims to have anywhere from six to twenty million listeners.) Another jaw-dropping segment, courtesy of fellow radio host Greg Fitzsimmons, featured Margaret Cho talking about the day she had sex with six people at once. In this day and age of publicists and spin control, carefully sheparding a useless Jennifer Aniston around lest anyone dare ask her about Brad Pitt, it is refreshing to hear celebrities talk so openly about their sexual lives.
I could praise Stern's radio show all day. Its wanton disregard for propriety quickly weeds out the squares from the cool kids, although many of Stern's listeners seem to be apes. Never mistake the audience for the show, however. Not once in the years I have been listening did I ever feel insulted or humiliated. Lange, a total homophobe, makes me laugh out loud. I wouldn't want him to be anything but what he is, a modern Archie Bunker. (His advice to Jimmy Fallon as to how to make his new talk show more interesting? Waterboard the guests.) And Takai is an excellent elder spokesperson for the gay community. If he's not insulted by the fag jokes, why should I be?
The point is, as our world continues to drown in the hypocrisy of political correctness, Stern's show is the last bastion of this kind of racy, vulgar talk. It puts all of us on the same level, and serves to remind us that to mock someone is in essence to accept them for what they are, that blunt honesty is more important than any politcal agenda. This isn't just the greatest radio show of all time. It's one of the greatest shows of all time.
It is not to everyone's tastes, and those easily offended - the umbrage community - would just carp. But those of us who enjoy a good laugh and who can take a teasing must be pleasantly surprised. Stern, a genius when it comes to open discussion, staffs his show with such diverse personalities as Robin Quivers (female, heterosexual, black, educated, upwardly mobile), renowned stand-up comedian Artie Lange (male, heterosexual, fat, New Jerseyish, filled with heterosexist prejudices), and former Star Trek star George Takai (male, homosexual, Asian, sophisticated, considerably older). No one is spared. At a recent evening out, Quivers, a bit of a wine snob, ordered an $800 bottle of wine. The others have never let her forget it.
The particular chemistry of these people as led by Stern (male, heterosexual, Jewish, neurotic) makes for marvelous radio. Along with other staffers and various guests, everyone is mocked. And because it's satellite radio, and therefore a subscription service with no censorship, the language and topics of discussion have no boundaries. Takai, who has talked at length about his relationship, spent a lot of time answering Stern's questions about giving head, and even admits to swallowing the occasional load. Why is this not news? Is it possible no gay or lesbian persons listen to satellite radio? (Stern claims to have anywhere from six to twenty million listeners.) Another jaw-dropping segment, courtesy of fellow radio host Greg Fitzsimmons, featured Margaret Cho talking about the day she had sex with six people at once. In this day and age of publicists and spin control, carefully sheparding a useless Jennifer Aniston around lest anyone dare ask her about Brad Pitt, it is refreshing to hear celebrities talk so openly about their sexual lives.
I could praise Stern's radio show all day. Its wanton disregard for propriety quickly weeds out the squares from the cool kids, although many of Stern's listeners seem to be apes. Never mistake the audience for the show, however. Not once in the years I have been listening did I ever feel insulted or humiliated. Lange, a total homophobe, makes me laugh out loud. I wouldn't want him to be anything but what he is, a modern Archie Bunker. (His advice to Jimmy Fallon as to how to make his new talk show more interesting? Waterboard the guests.) And Takai is an excellent elder spokesperson for the gay community. If he's not insulted by the fag jokes, why should I be?
The point is, as our world continues to drown in the hypocrisy of political correctness, Stern's show is the last bastion of this kind of racy, vulgar talk. It puts all of us on the same level, and serves to remind us that to mock someone is in essence to accept them for what they are, that blunt honesty is more important than any politcal agenda. This isn't just the greatest radio show of all time. It's one of the greatest shows of all time.
Saturday, February 28, 2009
imdb.com
I use the imdb (The Internet Movie Datebase, www.imdb.com) every day. In fact, it's my home page. I'm always looking up the credits to some old movie, and for the most part, the imdb is a godsend, always providing detailed information that I could not find anywhere else on earth. And everything links! I could and have spent hours searching arcane movie credits. I'm just that kind of guy.
And the end of every listing is a review. They are written by users rather than by critics or film profs. I'm sure the imdb created it with the best intentions, to put the average person's point of view across. When it comes to movies, everyone's a critic, and rightly so, as movies practically beg the viewer for a response. But the published entries are none too deep. The learned opinion is passe, and people with no sense of history write reviews as though movies only dated back a few decades. Here are three typical imdb reviews, slightly edited but with all the spelling and grammar errors intact:
I found this movie to be very compelling in many ways. The emotions felt here were not cheap gimmicks but that of feeling true sympathy. I can't remember another film that made me feel these emotions for a character. This film succeeded in ways that almost movie would likely fail in. This is a film that is amazingly thought provoking and will bring out the humanity within all of us and should not be missed.
I had the honor of watching this during a screening and was completely blown away! This is one of the best movie ever made. Everything in this film is excellent, not one piece of annoyance. It deserves any and every movie award known to man for this brilliant display. The director has made his "I will always be remembered" movie, this is the crownjewel in his portfolio. Perfect directing, perfect story, perfect balance between action and drama, everything is perfect. You will love this film. If you don't, then something beez wrongz with youz!
Yes, I said it's dumb. The quality of the acting is bad. The costumes look like they came from the local fabric store sales rack. Pretty low budget flick. The writing is elementary. The use of cheap actor's to play secondary rolls is quite obvious. Some of the camera shots, POV, are poorly done. Not for the intelligent viewer.
And unfortunately, not for the intelligent film lover either. When I want to know if Priscilla Presley ever won an acting award (yes she did, a Soap Opera Digest award for Exciting New Actress in a Prime Time Soap Opera for Dallas back in '78), I go to imdb and thank it profusely afterwards. But when I want to read a review of a movie, I'll look somewhere else.
And the end of every listing is a review. They are written by users rather than by critics or film profs. I'm sure the imdb created it with the best intentions, to put the average person's point of view across. When it comes to movies, everyone's a critic, and rightly so, as movies practically beg the viewer for a response. But the published entries are none too deep. The learned opinion is passe, and people with no sense of history write reviews as though movies only dated back a few decades. Here are three typical imdb reviews, slightly edited but with all the spelling and grammar errors intact:
I found this movie to be very compelling in many ways. The emotions felt here were not cheap gimmicks but that of feeling true sympathy. I can't remember another film that made me feel these emotions for a character. This film succeeded in ways that almost movie would likely fail in. This is a film that is amazingly thought provoking and will bring out the humanity within all of us and should not be missed.
I had the honor of watching this during a screening and was completely blown away! This is one of the best movie ever made. Everything in this film is excellent, not one piece of annoyance. It deserves any and every movie award known to man for this brilliant display. The director has made his "I will always be remembered" movie, this is the crownjewel in his portfolio. Perfect directing, perfect story, perfect balance between action and drama, everything is perfect. You will love this film. If you don't, then something beez wrongz with youz!
Yes, I said it's dumb. The quality of the acting is bad. The costumes look like they came from the local fabric store sales rack. Pretty low budget flick. The writing is elementary. The use of cheap actor's to play secondary rolls is quite obvious. Some of the camera shots, POV, are poorly done. Not for the intelligent viewer.
And unfortunately, not for the intelligent film lover either. When I want to know if Priscilla Presley ever won an acting award (yes she did, a Soap Opera Digest award for Exciting New Actress in a Prime Time Soap Opera for Dallas back in '78), I go to imdb and thank it profusely afterwards. But when I want to read a review of a movie, I'll look somewhere else.
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
Oscar Season
It is Oscar season. Here are random observations on some of the nominated films.
1. Favorite scene of the year #1: When Phillip Seymour Hoffman, in Doubt, shows his young male students his perfect fingernails, his hand splayed to welcome their admiration.
2. Favorite scene of the year #2: The flamenco dance instructor in Happy-Go-Lucky stomping the floor and commanding her students to claim it as "my space!"
3. In Slumdog Millionaire, the protagonist dives into the bottom of an outhouse. In Trainspotting, the protagonist dives into a toilet. What is it with director Danny Boyle and diving?
4. Scariest image all year? The frozen river in Frozen River.
5. Was The Wrestler a Canadian movie? Bleak setting, down'n'out protagonist, no real story or ending - I hope it wins the Genie.
6. The Reader sported the year's most ridiculous suicide scene. Director Stephen Daldry excels in ridiculous suicides. Remember The Hours?
7. Revolutionary Road. Move to fucking France already, goddamit.
8. Clint Eastwood's Changeling and Gran Torino show him to be the least nice old man on the planet. His skill as a director, however, just keeps growing. I can hardly wait to see what kind of movie he'll be making ten, twenty years from now.
9. Milk has the best drunk scene of the year, thanks to Josh Brolin (also so good in W.). I am stunned, however, by how few of my gay friends even bothered to see Milk.
10. Ralph Fiennes. So very good in The Duchess and In Bruges. So very bad in Bernard and Doris.
11. The sight of little ancient Brad Pitt in The Curious Case of Benjamin Button - vomitlicious!
12. Waltz with Bashir pointed the way to depicting graphic violence on screen - by rotoscoping it. I wish they would do that to all those horrid Saw movies.
13. My favorite movie wasn't even nominated for anything. How could the Academy ignore the visual poetry that was Cloverfield? I could watch that monster chew up New York City every day.
14. Meryl Streep. So very, very good in Doubt. So dignified against all odds in Mamma Mia!
15. Oscars are idiotic, but all the same, I'd love to see Milk, Sean Penn, Meryl Streep, Josh Brolin and Gus van Sant win, but unfortunately for them, they didn't make a comeback and/or die, like some of the other nominees.
And as always, I pray for a dance number to exceed the garishness of Rob Lowe's legendary duet with Cinderella, still the high water mark for tacky.
1. Favorite scene of the year #1: When Phillip Seymour Hoffman, in Doubt, shows his young male students his perfect fingernails, his hand splayed to welcome their admiration.
2. Favorite scene of the year #2: The flamenco dance instructor in Happy-Go-Lucky stomping the floor and commanding her students to claim it as "my space!"
3. In Slumdog Millionaire, the protagonist dives into the bottom of an outhouse. In Trainspotting, the protagonist dives into a toilet. What is it with director Danny Boyle and diving?
4. Scariest image all year? The frozen river in Frozen River.
5. Was The Wrestler a Canadian movie? Bleak setting, down'n'out protagonist, no real story or ending - I hope it wins the Genie.
6. The Reader sported the year's most ridiculous suicide scene. Director Stephen Daldry excels in ridiculous suicides. Remember The Hours?
7. Revolutionary Road. Move to fucking France already, goddamit.
8. Clint Eastwood's Changeling and Gran Torino show him to be the least nice old man on the planet. His skill as a director, however, just keeps growing. I can hardly wait to see what kind of movie he'll be making ten, twenty years from now.
9. Milk has the best drunk scene of the year, thanks to Josh Brolin (also so good in W.). I am stunned, however, by how few of my gay friends even bothered to see Milk.
10. Ralph Fiennes. So very good in The Duchess and In Bruges. So very bad in Bernard and Doris.
11. The sight of little ancient Brad Pitt in The Curious Case of Benjamin Button - vomitlicious!
12. Waltz with Bashir pointed the way to depicting graphic violence on screen - by rotoscoping it. I wish they would do that to all those horrid Saw movies.
13. My favorite movie wasn't even nominated for anything. How could the Academy ignore the visual poetry that was Cloverfield? I could watch that monster chew up New York City every day.
14. Meryl Streep. So very, very good in Doubt. So dignified against all odds in Mamma Mia!
15. Oscars are idiotic, but all the same, I'd love to see Milk, Sean Penn, Meryl Streep, Josh Brolin and Gus van Sant win, but unfortunately for them, they didn't make a comeback and/or die, like some of the other nominees.
And as always, I pray for a dance number to exceed the garishness of Rob Lowe's legendary duet with Cinderella, still the high water mark for tacky.
Sunday, February 15, 2009
A New Brain
The musical A New Brain, at the Berkeley Street Theatre Downstairs, is remarkable, first for its writing, and secondly for the level of performance in this well-directed production.
It is a musical about a gay guy who writes songs for a children's show starring a man in a frog suit. One day, while lunching with his hag, he has a health crisis and is admitted to the hospital. His mother and boyfriend and the hag all rush around him as he lay there, on the brink. He hallucinates, they operate, he survives and flourishes. The subplot involves his mother throwing away all his books because she believes they brought on his brain pain, and they end up in a homeless woman's shopping cart. None of this sounds like it could be funny, moving and entertaining, but it is, because the show's author, William Finn, wrote from his own experiences, and he can write a great song.
Many of the songs are a reminder of how daring musical theatre can be. I enjoyed the fat actor singing a song about being fat, and the mother has some great numbers, and the Asian actor playing the doctor is hilarious. But the showstopper is when Thom Allison sings "I'd Rather Be Sailing", a classic example of how an actor with a strong voice can literally elevate the entire audience and keep them there.
The set, mostly clinical white drapes and glass bricks, is striking. As my theatre-going companion Howard Kane said between sobs, it's great to sit through a musical that does not require amplification. Plus I love a show with no intermission. This production, from Mitchell Marcus' Acting Up Stage, earned a standing ovation on opening night, not a surprise. This is a great night of theatre.
It is a musical about a gay guy who writes songs for a children's show starring a man in a frog suit. One day, while lunching with his hag, he has a health crisis and is admitted to the hospital. His mother and boyfriend and the hag all rush around him as he lay there, on the brink. He hallucinates, they operate, he survives and flourishes. The subplot involves his mother throwing away all his books because she believes they brought on his brain pain, and they end up in a homeless woman's shopping cart. None of this sounds like it could be funny, moving and entertaining, but it is, because the show's author, William Finn, wrote from his own experiences, and he can write a great song.
Many of the songs are a reminder of how daring musical theatre can be. I enjoyed the fat actor singing a song about being fat, and the mother has some great numbers, and the Asian actor playing the doctor is hilarious. But the showstopper is when Thom Allison sings "I'd Rather Be Sailing", a classic example of how an actor with a strong voice can literally elevate the entire audience and keep them there.
The set, mostly clinical white drapes and glass bricks, is striking. As my theatre-going companion Howard Kane said between sobs, it's great to sit through a musical that does not require amplification. Plus I love a show with no intermission. This production, from Mitchell Marcus' Acting Up Stage, earned a standing ovation on opening night, not a surprise. This is a great night of theatre.
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